Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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