now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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