There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
