Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In other news, I just burned my penis
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
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