Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
