U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
a search helicopter?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
