so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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