some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
