You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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