He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
