it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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