I can tuck mytits in my pants
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
