wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
