I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
