i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
