I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
jump out the window naked night went bad
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