you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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