How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
