life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
