This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
