I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
