don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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