He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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