So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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