yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
