I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
