remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
