i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
