you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
