you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
