Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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