ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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