Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As shirtless as possible
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize