i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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