oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
