So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
