you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
