I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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