I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
