i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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