**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
pray to the hookup gods
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
