Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
