I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
