im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it hurts more in the daytime
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
be right there i have to get my cape
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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