You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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