Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
