He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
