someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
