i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
