atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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