Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The adults are the big ones right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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