Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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