Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
