margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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