No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
