that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
