come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
