Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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