if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need a beard to bite.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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