FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
