I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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