i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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