Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
