some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize