I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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